To Come Full Circle
by Searching Seifer
Summary: The end of the Sorceress' war marked a drastic change in everyday life. A change that not only effected Squall, but the rest of the world as well. SxS Yaoi
1. A New Beginning

**For the record; I do not own the characters from final fantasy vii. Never will. Warning: Yaoi ahead; you were warned.**

**To Come Full Circle**

Prologue

The end of the Sorceress' war marked a drastic change in everyday life; a change that not only effected Squall, but the rest of the world as well. After the defeating of Ultimacia, Rinoa brought an end to the Sorceress Chain by willing herself to another plane of existence. Squall found himself mourning the loss of a friend. A friend was all he could ever allow himself to be with her. "_There is only one person I have ever loved_."

Nothing ever happened between them. Squall didn't even start liking the man until after he regained some of his childhood memories in Trebia. Remembering how he looked out for him; after the others were adopted from the small orphanage off the coast of Centra. He also remembered how inseperatable they became. That's why they were never adopted. Squall wouldn't leave Seifer, and Seifer wouldn't leave Matron. Matron was the only mother Seifer had ever known. Squall and Ellone went to the orphanage when Raine died and Laguna was away fighting Sorceress Adell. Selphie's parents disappeared without a trace; she was found half starved to death by a nosy neighbor who thought the couple might need help with the new baby. Irvine's and Quistice's parents were casualties of the war between Centra and Sorceress Adell. Zell and Seifer were abandoned by their parents as newborns.

After the war ended, Seifer and Edea went on trial for war crimes. Seifer was acquitted. He has no memories of being under the influence of Ultimacia. He did remember going with Matron at the Timber Broadcasting Station; however, he didn't kill civilians until fully under her influence. Edea however wasn't so lucky. Even though she past the "gift" on to Rinoa; she was sealed until further study could prove she wasn't any harm to society. Cid was devastated, and had himself sealed along with her. The gardens and the SeeD program were shut down after the war; until Quistice and Xu bought Balam and Galbadia gardens and turned them into Universities. Irvine and Zell became Laguna's personal body guards. They get great pay; they talk about going into business for themselves when Laguna retires. "Fat chance that will ever happen; even if he wanted to, the people of Esthar wouldn't let him." Selphie owns and operates the Timber Broadcasting Network in Timber. She is working to get a television in every home across the globe. Squall moved to Winn Hill and bought his late mothers old bar. The community is quiet, and Squall enjoys the peace. He just bought the Winn Hill Manson and plans to turn it into an orphanage. He still needs to find "someone" to help manage the facility….

Chapter One

Squall just finishes cleaning the bar when the phone rings. "Hello?" There is a pause at the other end of the line. "Hi Squall, long time no see." "Irvine?" "Yea!…I heard from Selph that you just bought that ole mansion at Winn Hill. I was wondering what you had in mind." "_How does she always know_? _I should probably check to see if she has my house bugged or something_." I just finished with the paperwork; I was going to tell you all about it when I received confirmation. I plan to make an orphanage out of it. I am having trouble finding a manager though." "I see." "I would normally hire a local person for the job; but, I just don't think they are up to it." "_Everyone qualified is ether too old or too inexperienced_." "Have you talked to Quisti? I am sure she would have a few people in mind." "No. I haven't. "_The last time I talked to her; she wouldn't stop trying to get me to teach Sorceress War history_."" "I'll call her tomorrow. She will know what to do." "Thanks, "_not really_," this project is really important to me." "I am glad you are keeping busy." "It isn't about keeping busy; there were a lot of casualties caused by the war. I am doing this for the children who lost there families. I only think it is appropriate." "I didn't mean an offence." "No; I am sorry. I am just under a lot of stress." "I understand. Don't worry about it." "Understood. I will see you next week then?" "Who told you!" The overly exertive cowboy blurts out. "It was just a hunch; Selphie called me just yesterday. She seemed like she was hiding something that directly involved me." "Damb…We wanted it to be a surprise. Oh well….Catch you later then." says a slightly disappointed cowboy.

"_How come they always call me at closing time_? _Couldn't they call me during normal hours_? Squall starts to finish closing the bar. "_Hein I need a dishwasher_; _If only I could turn a profit in this place_." He finishes up the dishes and gives the tables and bar a good wipe down. As he heads up stairs he gets the eerie feeling of being watched. "_I really wish Pearl would get a new hobby_." He internally thought to himself. Reaching his final destination for the evening; Squall decides to take a short shower before heading to bed. "_I hate smelling like food when I wake up in the morning_." Exhausted; he tries to remind himself in order to take the extra effort to bath.

After almost entirely disrobing; Squall hears a couple of knocks on the door downstairs. "_What the Hell_?"

**Chapter One is rather short; but, it does get the story off to a good start. It does also contain a rather lengthy prologue. If you skipped over it; you may want to go back and read the prologue. It is very important to the story. Please review. No Yaoi haters you; were warned.**


	2. The First Spring Rain

**For the record; I do not own the characters from final fantasy vii. Never will. Warning: Yaoi ahead; you were warned.**

**To Come Full Circle**

Chapter Two

Seifer has lived the last several months in Fisherman's Horizon. It is about the only place that excepts him since the Lunar Call killed so many people; however, he had brought it on under the influence of Ultimacia. He couldn't hate them for not understantding. Since the war, he has helped establish the populace of Fisherman's Horizon as an International builders firm. They have since rebuilt Trebia as a great city and several of the other cities influenced by the Lunar Call; however, he can not escape the past that he was, unfortunately, destined to lead.

Seifer stands in front of his board of trusties as he prepares to retire himself as head of FHIBF. "Does everyone understand their tasks for the next several months?" There is an over all affirmation from the members of the board. "I am stepping down as head of this organization." "What?...Why?...How come?"; are the overall questions of the board members. "QUIET" "Thanks Fujin. It is much appreciated…. To continue…. I am proud of the organization that "_I_" We have built together; however, I am no longer in the position to lead you anymore. I have established Fujin and Raijin as my successors. They will continue to lead you in the bath that "_I_" we have established. I will keep in check with the company's progresses and agendas. I leave you in good hands." A prominent board member raises his hand. "Yes?" "Where will you go?... I don't mean to pry; however, isn't your unexceptance by society the reason that landed you here?" Fujin starts to head in the general direction of the outlandishly brave speaker; but Seifer gives her the signal not to strike. "It is a fair question. "_Not that it is any of your business_." I have unfinished business with an old colleague of mine. I hope to reestablish myself in society threw him. He has a job opportunity that I just can't pass up. Please forgive my short notice in the matter; I hope you all understand. This meeting is adjourned."

Seifer leaves as quickly as possible; "_Before any of those morons asked me anymore questions they had no business asking_." Barely catching the last train out of FH, Seifer heads to Winn Hill. He had organized a first class ticket for the trip; he doesn't like the controversy he always gets while traveling. "_I am not afraid of controversy; I just don't like people and prefer a private car_." Seifer uses the time to his advantage and meditates on how he will gain his former best friend and rival to trust him again. It had started months ago; he just couldn't stop thinking about him. The way his hand felt when he would help him to his feet. The way he always smelled like the first spring rain; even after an intense work out or battle. "_If only I could tell him how I felt. Fuck, I am Seifer Fuckin' Almasy, I'm not afraid of anything. Why can't I just get over myself and do it…. I'm even beginning to think like him. Damn my inner monologues_!" Seifer continues to beat the shit out of himself internally for abandoning the only person he ever cared about. He quickly finds himself asleep.

_"Seifer…. I have loved you my entire life…. I want you and no one else." "Squall?...Are you ok?" "Yes…Better now that you are here with me; let me help you get a little more comfortable." "Squall…What the hell are you… Oh...OH…OHHHHH…"_

"Fucking Hell!" Seifer awakes to find that his very, very wet dream had been just that; a dream. "I need to get control of myself" "_If not, I am likely to jump his ass as soon as I see him_."

"BING"…"The train will be stopping at station 003A; it is our Final stop…Please gather you things and head towards the nearest exit…Thank you for traveling with us"…"BING"

After arriving in Winn Hill late in the evening, in the rain, he walks to the one place he knows Squall will be. The place Squall would refer to so fondly when describing during their childhood days at the orphanage. "_I can't believe how anxious I am. I am so nervous; why am I Fuckin' nervous_?"

After asking the hotel owner where _Raine's_ was, he quickly headed for his destination. "_I always knew the Ice Prince was sentimental_." After arriving, he could only watch Squall as he cleaned up. He initially arrived while he was on the phone. "_I just didn't want to interrupt. What the Fuck? When have I ever cared about interrupting anyone? Get your ass in there and talk to him_." Finally, he gets the courage to knock on the door…

Squall starts to button his fly as he heads for the door. "_Who the Hell_?" Squall opens the door to find the last person on the planet he expected it to be. "Hey, How…have you been?...I…" The blonde oaf mutters in the cold rain. "What the hell are you doing here?" "I..." "You have some nerve." Squall quickly interrupts. "I…you know, I really have missed that expression of yours." "_Where the hell did that just come from_?" The poor blonde retorts to himself after the damage was already done. "Why are you here?" Squall asks, giving Seifer a change to speak for once. "You were looking for a manager to look over your new orphanage?" "I don't think so." Squall starts to slam the door in Seifer's face; When suddenly the blonde takes a stand and bars the door. "I know you are still sore about everything. You know I wouldn't ever do you any true harm; even if that bitch had me under her control." "…." Squall thinks for a minute before asking…"Why do you want the position?" "I want a chance to regain our friendship." "_I can't believe he is feeding me this bullshit. Does he even hear himself when he talks_?" "You saw right threw that, …didn't you? …I need the opportunity to clear my name, and your project happens to be the perfect opportunity." "_At least he is being honest for once_. Would you like to have a drink?" Squall asks as he unbars the door. "I just about thought you were never going to ask." "_What an asshole_." "Was that look really necessary?" "What look?" "The look you give me whenever I am making an ass of myself." "_How the hell does he do that_?" "Because I know you better than you know yourself. _You are locked up in your Ice Palace, and I am the only one with a blow torch_." "….Whatever" "Is that how this interview is going to be?"

Seifer and Squall sit down over a bottle of whiskey and some diet coke to talk about the future aspects of the Winn Hill Orphanage. Squall decides to allow Seifer to manage the orphanage under one condition. Everything must be approved by him before going threw with anything. Seifer soon agrees, after negotiating the fact becomes futile. Squall, after all, is a brick wall when it comes down to anything regarding something as important as this.

"I really have missed our conversations." Retorts a blonde who has had a few too many. "What conversations? All we ever do is fight?" "I can't believe you would degrade it like that." "What do you mean?" "Don't you see that we are two sides of the same coin? You're the bottom and I'm the top;…so to speak." "_Like two sides of the same coin_." "So you get it?" "What are you talking about? I think you need to sleep off what you drank. We can talk further tomorrow." "Whatever you say…_Princess_." "Did you make reservations at the hotel?" "You are going to turn away and ole friend?" "An old friend who has tortured me and killed on numerous occasions." "How can I ever make it up to you if you don't trust me?" "Do you realize that all actions have repercussions, even if they weren't initially willed." The blonde man starts to whimper at the thought of it all. "…I am sorry for the pain I have caused you…and everyone else…I…I only wished to be granted the chance to truly make up for it…truly." "_I can't believe I am falling for this shit_." The blonde, realizing he had just won the hand, started to perk up. "So…can I stay here for the night?" "You can sleep on the floor. I only have one bed." "Wha…" Squall glares at Seifer with ill intent. "Right, the floor then."

**Chapter Two is a bit longer than the first chapter. I am not going to always update this story so quickly; I will try to make the next chapter longer though. Please review. No Yaoi haters you; were warned.**


	3. The Morning After

**For the record; I do not own the characters from final fantasy vii. Never will. Warning: Yaoi ahead; you were warned.**

**To Come Full Circle**

Chapter 3

Squall awoke to find Seifer lying next to him. Squall almost knocked him on his ass; but he looked just to damn sexy in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts while curled up next to himself. Squall decided to declare no harm no foul, and start on breakfast down stairs.

"_I can't believe that really happened. Did he even shower before…oh…who cares... Did I really just let him get away with that?…I wonder if he will wake up in shock?"…"What if he doesn't!?"_ Squall continues his tasks for about thirty minuets; when he starts hearing noises upstairs.

Seifer awakes to the best smell ever (fresh rain). He suddenly notices that he didn't wake up where he went to bed. A declaring grin spreads across his face. He sits up and that declaring grin turns into an "Oh Shit!" "How much did I really drink last night? At least it wasn't Vodka; _I hate sweating profusely during a hangover._"Seifer looks around to find someone missing. "How does he wake up so damn early, he was just as…" "Do you always talk to yourself in the morning? Get showered and come down; breakfast is almost ready." Squall interrupts by yelling from downstairs. Seifer complies by getting in the shower. He takes his time getting ready; trying to hid the evidence of his hangover.

Greta, one of Squall's regulars, walks threw the front door. "You know, the smell of your coffee and pancakes always perks me up in the mornin' Squall." "I am glad to hear it. _Even if she says the same damn thing every morning._" Her younger sister Pearl follows Greta in. "Ya know, if I could only bare the thought of going a day without your cooking; I would be a rich woman by now." "Thanks Pearl; it means a lot to hear. _Seriously, does anybody around here say anything new?_" They take their seat at the bar; while Daisy, a quiet soul, takes her place next to the window with her black coffee and blueberry bagel. Daisy has found a soft spot for Squall, and visits about three times a week for breakfast. She never talks or makes any noise. Greta and Pearl however, wish to know every aspect of what is going on next door. With Squall's silence; Greta and Pear start their chain of gossip for the day.

"Who's that Adonis in the tight tee-shirt!?" Exclaims a very excited Pearl. Greta turns to get a better view. "Oh Hein! Is he in a thong!?" Greta grabs Pearl and leaves a generous tip before dragging and an aw struck Pearl out the door. Daisy, who really never says anything, just stares as she sips her coffee.

Seifer, not knowing Squall opened for breakfast during the weekdays, had come down wearing one of Squall's black T-shirts, and a pair of white bikini briefs. After the shock of the situation wore off, he decides to continue as planed. He sits at the bar for his morning meal.

"Was that really necessary?" Squall asks with an undertone in his voice. "What?" Seifer asks coyly. "Where are your pants…and is that my…" "Shirt?...Yes. It was raining last night and everything I brought was wet." "hehehe" Daisy giggles shortly before finishing her bagel. "_I can't believe he is wearing my underwear!_" "Believe it sweet cheeks." Daisy suddenly chokes over her last bit of coffee and decides it is better that she gives them some privacy. "I have pants." "I couldn't wear leather." "You can, however, go around in my underwear." "What, don't you like them on me?" "Whatever." Breakfast goes on and Squall starts to clean up. "Can I see this new establishment I am going to manage?" "After lunch." "Why Lunch, it,s just over there." "I am having the place restored. I really want to give these kids something special. Something to make up for the…" "…Shit I did to them." "You know…it is going to take time for people to realize that you were…" "…A monster." "Would you stop, that isn't what I was going to say." "It is the truth though." "You were under the control of Ultimacia." "I would rather be a monster than weak. How can even defend me?" "…Whatever" "What is that look for? And quit saying that, it makes me want to…" "I don't think your in any position to post threats." "I…never mind." "It took an extreme amount of force to defeat her. Being under her spell isn't something you can blame yourself for entirely." "Look what they did to Matron." "…" "You don't have anything to say!" Exclaims Seifer. "I did what I could." "What is that supposed to mean?" "You were both to be sealed for testing." Explains Squall. "What?" " I asked Laguna to pull some strings. He did what he could." "You asked your father to spare me? Why?" Edea wouldn't go with the terms of the negotiation. She felt terrible about the damage she caused. She make Laguna promise to get you acquitted. I didn't know about her decision until it was all over." Squall states; avoiding the previous questions. "Are you actually blaming yourself for our consequences? You were the hero. We did a lot of destruction." "Nobody wins when it comes to war. _I almost lost my best friend._" "Please finish you sentences when you speak; I can't always guess what you are thinking." "I thought The Seifer Almasy could do anything?" "Was that a come back? I do believe I am rubbing off on you." "Whatever".

As the morning progresses; Seifer and Squall find themselves regressing to a more innocent time in their history. Seifer told Squall about the time he left garden; Squall found himself remembering the loss he felt inside; being alone at the orphanage that overlooked the Centran Coast. Seifer also talked about how they used to tell each other everything. He them questioned internally; whether or not their relationship could really be the way it used to be.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Seifer asks in a slightly irritated tone. "What do you mean?" "We lost touch after I left the orphanage. Our friendship has been tainted ever since." "…I had already lost so many people that I had cared about." "What do you mean?" "After Raine died, I ended up at the ophanage; then Ellone went to look for Laguna. I only had…" "You felt abandoned after I left?" "I know; It is so pathetic." "No. I felt the same way when you were suddenly away on missions and I couldn't go." "…Why did you fail the SeeD exam so many times?" Squall, after feeling slightly uncomfortable, quickly changed the subject. "I was waiting for my best friend to catch up." "…" "I was devastated when I was past up for seed the last time. If we hadn't of left our post…" "Everything would have went unchecked; and…in the end, who knows what might have happened." Squall quickly tries to comfort his blonde companion. "When I found out that you had been sent on that mission…I couldn't bare the thou…?" "You felt abandoned?" Squall interrupts. "That was the moment…when all my memories cam flooding back to me." "_I can't believe…_" "I have asked that if you are going to say something; to say it where I can hear you." Seifer interrupts Squall's inner monologues. "I didn't understand why you acted the way you did until now." "I have always been there for you when you truly needed me. Even under Ultimacias control; she could never force me to kill you. I…" "You don't have to say it. I feel the same way. No matter what we may disagree on; I don't think I could go that direction either." "When did you start finishing my sentences?" "_I always have; just not aloud._" "What do you say; can we take a look at the place now?" "The workers I hired should be on lunch about now." "Where are they?" "I hired several of the people around town. They usually go home for lunch." "When I have an entire construction company at my disposal!?" Seifer questionably exclaims. "…It is my way of putting money into the community." "You know; you can make a profit and be charitable at the same time." "…" "Point taken.

Squall takes Seifer on tour of the Winn Hill Mansion; soon to be the Winn Hill Orphanage and Family Shelter. Seifer can't believe that a building this big could be located in such a small town. Squall tells Seifer how Winn Hill used to be a great lord's province. He speeks about how: "When the country fell under the control of a tyrant King, the Lord of the providence paid the people's taxes and allowed them land to grow their own food. The people never forgot the kindness their Lord supplied them. He was killed in a battle commissioned by the royal service. After his death; the people of this province rebelled against their tyrant ruler. They started a revolution that won them their freedom. This town was named after Lord Winn. This was his mansion." "I now realize why you wanted to hire people from the town. I only wish my imprint on this world wasn't tainted. I wish for people to remember me for the good I have done and hope to do; not the shit I got caught up in." "…" "I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by that." Seifer quickly retorts. "I think I am the one rubbing of on you." "Tell me about your mother and this place again?" Seifer quickly changes to a more comfortable subject. "…" "What's wrong?" "I don't remember all that much about her. It was a sacrifice I had to make when using Guardian Forces." Squall explains. "You don't remember you mother!?" "I remember the images Ellone showed me from Laguna's memory. I remember this place; just not ever being here." "I am so sorry Squall." "What are you sorry for?" "I used to listen about how you talked about your mother, and the way you admired her. It is almost…" "Really; it isn't like I won't ever remember again. It will just take time." "You have sacrificed so much for the people of this world; and you still keep going." "…" "You really are a remarkable person." "Whatever."

**Chapter Three took no time at all. I repeat; I am not going to always update this story so quickly. Big plans for the next chapter; won't tell you though. Sorry. The next chapter will be even longer and a little steamy. Please review. No Yaoi haters you; were warned.**


	4. If He Only Knew

**For the record; I do not own the characters from final fantasy vii. Never will. Warning: Yaoi ahead; you were warned.**

**To Come Full Circle**

Chapter 4

Squall awoke to find no trace of Seifer anywhere. "Where did he go? I thought he would be…here." Squall found disapointment in the fact that Seifer wasn't next to him. He sat in bed for a moment; contemplating on the reasons why Seifer would have gone. He then looked at the clock. To his distress, the time read: 9:30am. "I can't believe I overslept." Squall quickly rushed to get ready and headed down stairs. "Where is everyone?" He then starts to check outside when he notices a note on the outer side of the door. When he opens the door and looks at the note, it reads: _Notice: Raine's Place will be closed for the weekend. Sorry for the inconvenience_. "What the hell is going on?" "Oh your up?!" Came a distinctly familiar voice. "I didn't want to wake you. I was just about to head back in." Seifer said with a slight disappointment. He really wanted Squall to wake up next to him "Why the hell did you close my bar?!" "I figured you needed to sleep in for once." "That wasn't your decision to make." Squall blurted sternly. "Damn, what crawled up your ass and died this morning?" Seifer said jokingly. By the look on Squall's face; he suddenly wished he hadn't. "I just.." "Stop it. There is no excuse for…" Suddenly Squalls head filled with euphoria. His mind went elsewhere why his body enjoyed the sudden and very unexpected, passionate, and forceful kiss he found himself in. "mn" Squall suddenly moaned as Seifer started to suck on his collar bone. Seifer's heart melted at the sound of Squall's enjoyment of his actions. "Wait." Squall blurted as he suddenly came to his senses. "Why…What is wrong?" Seifer asks; as his motions are suddenly halted by the brunette. "I can't…We can't do this!" Squall exclaims. "Why not?...I thought…You were…What is going on?" Seifer turns to leave and think before; suddenly he is grabbed by the arm. Seifer turns to look at Squall. His heart breaks when he sees a look of fear in his eyes. A single tear falls from Squall's almost emotionless face. "Please don't leave…I didn't mean…" Seifer jerks his arm away. "Why can't you just be honest with yourself for once. We have wasted so much time as it is. Squall…I.." "Don't finish that sentence. You can't possibly mean it." "Who made you feel that you don't deserve love?" Squall can no longer hide his pain. He turns around and walks inside; locking the door behind him. "_Fuck, I went too far. I knew he wasn't ready. What the hell is wrong with me? He doesn't even remember any of it_." Seifer bangs his head against the door. He slides down the wall and waits for the brunette to come back to him. "I will wait for eternity if I have too."

Squall turns back to the door as he heads up the stairs; his heart is pulling him back. "I can't believe he almost said it. What is he thinking? He doesn't really. Why would he?" Squall sits halfway up and halfway down the stairs; impartial to which direction he should take. He just leans against the railing and stairs at the door. Another tear falls from his eyes of crystal blue. "I hate him…Why is he making me feel like this? Why does he have to push me to the brink all the time. Why can't he just…" His mind suddenly stopped as a hand is gently placed on his shoulder. "Do you mind?" Seifer says before sitting. "_How_?" "I waited for ten minutes…I figured you crawled into that head of yours. I climbed up the back onto the balcony." "I locked the door for a reason." "I would give you time to think if it wasn't directed towards a reason to hating me." "_I could never hate you. I just need…time._" "I don't understand. You feel something for me; I felt it." "Seifer…I…" "I know; you can't…Why the hell not? Give me one good fucking reason." "Seifer…I want nothing more; but you don't understand. I can't." "It is my reputation isn't it. I am working to fix that. I know I don't deserve you. I have known it all along. I do love you. I always have. Please give me a chance to earn your trust." Squall slips away into his thoughts; his mind reeling with Seifer's accusation. "It is I who doesn't deserve you." Seifer pulls Squall and holds him close. Squall sits in the blonde's grasp; thinking of how to word his explanations. After a few minutes he begins to speak. "I don't blame you for anything. I don't understand why you don't hate me." "What the hell are you talking about? Why would…How could I ever hate…" "Please let me finish." The brunette quickly interrupts. "You were right about everything initially before the war. You had great instincts. You knew something was going to happen at Timber as well. If you hadn't of been there…" "You would have been her knight instead of me." "You did know then?" "Of course I did. I know everything." Squall lets out a faint laugh at the blonde's sarcasm. "Why did you sacrifice yourself for me? You could have had a normal life. None of this could have happened to you." "Squall…I couldn't take the chance. You couldn't remember anything about the past. It pissed me off at first. I couldn't believe you could just throw everything away like that... Then I read you file. You had a Guardian Force before garden. Shiva had drained a lot of your memories before even coming to garden. I knew you could never withstand her in the state you were in." They sat there for a few minutes before Squall finally spoke. "I hated you after the war. After all the pain you had caused." "Squall you don't have too…" "No…please let me finish. Matron came to me not long after, before she was arrested with those insane charges, and told me. I was the one Ultimacia was after. She told me that it took all of her will to change her decision. She said that you were the only one that could withstand her mentally. I have felt nothing but guilt ever since. I don't deserve you. I don't…" Squall was interrupted with another, if not more passionate, kiss. "I love you more than you could ever imagine. I could never hate you. Ever." "I am sorry. I am sorry for hating you. I didn't have a right. You were nothing but…" "Don't! You have nothing to be sorry for. That bitch is the one to blame. Everything is ok now. We can move on with our lives…together."

**I know...It wasn't very long. I am truly sorry. I just didn't want to overload the chapter. I am also at a loss what everyone would like to see happen in the story. I really would like some opinion of the story thus far. If you hate it, if you like it... I want to know. I have my plot made out and structured; however, keyboards do have a backspace key. Nothing is permenant. Please, please, please review. **


	5. What Dreams May Come

**For the record; I do not own the characters from final fantasy vii. Never will. Warning: Yaoi ahead; you were warned.**

**To Come Full Circle**

Chapter 5

After about ten or fifteen minutes of relaxing on the stairs in Seifer's arms, Squall decides that he needs some time to think on where 'this' is going. "Where are you going?" The uninformed Blonde asks. "I have to check on the workers. I will be back in a while." Squall replies. "Can I…" It was too late; Squall was out the door in a flash. _What is the deal? One moment he seems to remember; the next, he turns cold again. _"I miss my Squally." Seifer says with a distinct mock pout at the current situation. _Maybe I should give him some time too himself. At least he doesn't seem angry_. Seifer decides to get in a quick nap before Squall gets back. _His tantrums still take a lot out of me_. The Blonde smirks at the thought before drifting off to sleep.

(Dream)

"Hey Squally…What cha doin'?" Seifer asks after looking for Squall all day. "…" "Squally…you know…you can tell me anything…I won't tell anyone…and it might make you feel better." Squall just looks at him with a void in his eyes. _Why does he always talk to himself like that_. Seifer silently asks himself. Seifer sits by Squall atop the old Centran Lighthouse. _Well I can be just as stubborn as he can_. Seifer sits silently by Squall until Squall talks to him. (It took a long damn time!) "Seifer…?" A slightly curious and nervous Squall asks. "When your ready…ok" _He still thinks that I am leaving him. He'll be going next year. We aren't going to be apart for long. I… _Seifer decides that now would be a good time as any. "Squally…?" "Yea?" "I…" _I should have said this before now. _"...What is it?" "...I love you." Squall just blinks a couple of times; trying to process it all. "Squally…I love you." "I heard you the first time…You don't have to keep saying it." _WHAT?! _"What's wrong…don't you love me?" Seifer is suddenly hit with the thought that Squall may actually not love him back. Seifer's world is turned upside down. Tears drip from his eyes as he cries silently. He starts to head toward the door; that is, until a hand grabs his arm. He turns back. The same tears are falling down Squalls face. The reality of the situation hits him. Seifer once again sits next to Squall, and rests his head on Squall's shoulder. "Squally…I could never leave you…I do love you." "…I…I love you too. I am just afraid you…" "…Will leave...like Sis?" "Yea…"

Seifer wakes to tears once again. He never thought that it could be the other way around. Squall had left him; not in person, but in mind. _Why can't I just be satisfied being near him. If I love him. Wouldn't I be willing to do that?... What the hell am I thinking? I could never sit by and continue to do nothing about this tragedy._ Seifer then determines himself to do whatever it takes to bring Squall back. He goes down stairs and decides to cook dinner for when Squall gets back. _I do whip up a mean pasta salad. And the ingredients are here._ The blonde continues his thoughts as he meticulously prepares the meal. _I just want everything to be perfect for tonight._

After checking with the foreman and finding out that the work was ahead of schedule; Squall decides to take a rest under one of the great oaks near the mansion. _I can't believe how many old trees there are here. This one has to be over four-hundred years old_… _I need to stop distracting myself. He is here…but it is not the same…I feel like I am missing something. Why does he look at me like that. Like he feels sorry for me. He is the one with everyone down his back. He has to prove himself to everyone he meets for the rest of his life. He has forever been labeled…and yet…his only concern is my well being. Rinoa never treated me like that. Of course, I would never degrade what I have with Seifer. Rinoa was just a little girl at heart; and my heart had already been taken…WHAT?! ALREADY? _Squall's minor slip in thought seemed all to familiar to be a slip of sanity. It was like he felt that Seifer and himself could have had something before. Something more than friends; however, most of his memories were still early on in the orphanage and later at Garden. There were still several gaps that he could not picture. His mother and his brief stay at Winn hill being one of the major ones; his preteen years at the orphanage being the other. He still couldn't remember anymore of his time at the orphanage; and it seemed to be really important. Something that is affecting his life currently.

Squall walks in to find the most delicious aroma tickling his sinuses. _Is that pepperoni? _"I made a pasta salad. I also made some garlic bread, and grilled potatoes and asparagus." Says a rather proud blonde. "…" Squall doesn't have to say anything. The expression on the brunette's face is one of appreciation and affection; not one of aggravation. That alone makes it a worth while for Seifer. "I hope you like it." Seifer states while pulling the chair for the silent brunette. Seifer had set up an intimate setting for two; with a near table containing the food for accessibility. For the longest, Seifer just stares into the lipid pools of his desires affection. Squalls eyes always melts him inside. No matter how bad he feels; one look into those eyes could make everything seem right. Squall is numb to the fact that he is holding hands with the blonde. He is too distracted by Seifer's eyes of emerald green. _It should be a sin to have eyes so beautiful._ Both thought as they stared into each other. Suddenly the growling of Squall's stomach ruins the moment. A sudden reddening overcomes Squall's face. Seifer just smiles and starts to prepare the plates_. He is just too cute when he gets embarrassed._ The two eat in silence. Neither knowing what to say to the other while eating. Neither wanting to discuss the days happenings, and neither wanting to ruin the moment.

After the meal. Squall starts to do the dishes while Seifer moves on to the next phase of his plan. He sits at the bar and tries access the situation at hand by asking some harmless questions. "Do you remember the time we went fishing of the shores near Garden?" "Didn't you get dragged out into the ocean by seaweed?" It was now Seifer's turn to turn bright red. _I had conveniently for gotten about that._ Squall just smiles and starts back at the task in hand. "What about the time we skipped class to go sparing?" Squall just runs a finger down his scar and smiles again. Of course he remembered and Seifer knew it. Seifer returned the gesture and smiled back. _Know for the toughie_. "Do you remember your first day at Garden?" Squall thought for a moment and shook his head. "I am sorry; I can't recall." "It's ok. Wasn't anything too important." Seifer didn't really lie. The day wasn't really all that eventful; it was just the first time that they had seen each other in a year. Squall had spent the whole day with him under an oak tree outside of garden. _It is ok, I can live without him remembering that one. _Seifer consciously lies to himself. Squall finishes the dishes and decides to head for bed. The blonde continues to sit at the bar until he notices that Squall has gone to bed and soon follows.

(Squall's dream)

"Hey Squally…What cha doin'?" _Why did Seifer come here? How did he know I would be here? _"Squally…you know…you can tell me anything…I won't tell anyone…and it might make you feel better." _Why won't Seifer just leave me alone…He just keeps trying...He will eventually stop…everyone leaves me…First Mom…Then Sis…anyone I care about always leaves me. _Seifer takes a seat by Squall and sits by him for the rest of the afternoon atop the old Centran Lighthouse; not saying a word until Squall was ready. "Seifer…?" A slightly curious and nervous Squall asks. "When your ready…ok" _How does Seifer always do that? He always finishes my sentences and thoughts. _"Squally…?" "Yea?" "I…" "...What is it?" "...I love you." _Squall just blinks a couple of times; trying to process it all. What does he really mean by that? He can't possibly. _"Squally…I love you." "I heard you the first time…You don't have to keep saying it." "What's wrong…don't you love me?" Squall sees a look of heart and fear that he had never seen in Seifer's eyes. Seifer turns to walk tward the door and Squall reaches out for his arm. Tears drip from his eyes as he cries silently. Seifer turns back. The same tears are falling down the blonde's face. The reality of the situation hits him. Seifer sits next to Squall and rests his head on Squall's shoulder. "Squally…I could never leave you…I love you." "…I…I love you too. I am just afraid you…" "…Will leave...like Sis?" "Yea…"

A single tear runs down from Seifer's eye. Once again having the same dream. _I can't believe… _"What is this about?" Squall uses the back of his forefinger to wipe the tear away. "I was just thinking…" "About us?" "…Do you remember the first time? …never mind." "The first time what?" Squall asks with slight curiosity. "Never mind_"…I don't want to know. I couldn't bare it if he forgot. _There is a brief moment before Squall speaks."Do you remember that time in the light house?" Squall asks with curiosity. "Huh?" Is the only think the shocked blonde can murmur. "When you told me that…" "I love you…I have been thinking about that moment for the past year." "I have missed my memories of you." Retorts the brunette. "I have missed you too... Squally."

**I am sorry it took so long for me to update. I was waiting until I recived an actual review. I had a lot of hits and no one was reviewing. I didn't know what to think. Thank you Kirux, you will never know how much you reviews ment to me. I plan for this to be a rather long fic, and I don't think you are going to be disapointed. This chapter was rather fluffy. The next will be as well. I promise that I am going somewhere with it though. Do remember that the others have no idea about Seifer; well, almost everyone else. (_I know, I am so mean...Not telling.)_**


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